Do not let your writer out of bed until they have written at least two thousand words. With luck, you will not have to get up until lunchtime.

At all times you must strive to maintain the aloof, professional air of a writer’s cat — the cursor is not a toy.

Your writer may require the occasional reminder to feed you. This situation is easily resolved by resting your head on the keyboard and purring loudly.

A freshly printed manuscript is a prime spot for a mid-afternoon nap.

From time to time, your writer will receive a rejection.  Be sympathetic, but never allow them to wallow in self pity.  After they have poured you a saucer of milk, send them straight back to work.

A warm laptop makes an excellent cushion.

The Agent takes 20% of your kibble. Bear this in mind when seeking a target for an annoying fur ball.

Editing is hell.

At least one novel should be dedicated to you.

Your writer may be distracted when a deadline is approaching, but on no account should they be permitted to ignore you. Always remember that you are beautiful, a muse, and that your writer is lucky to have you.